If you’ve been wondering how the Fifty Shades of Grey movie will be different from a B grade R-rated adult film, the official trailer will do little to enlighten you.

A few days ago, a fifteen second teaser trailer made its way around the internet, obviously to arouse (pun shamelessly intended) interest in the film adaptation of the curiously popular BDSM erotic novel by E. L. James. Now, a full length trailer has been uploaded onto YouTube, and it feels more awkward than hot.

The trailer begins with leading lady Anastasia Steele’s (Dakota Johnson) fortunate-slash-unfortunate (you decide which) first meeting with the infamous but desirable Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). And what do we think of Dornan?

After legions of fans openly declared the chiseled physical perfection that is Matt Bomer as their ideal Christian Grey, Dornan will likely fall short of what fans have been fantasizing about. But let’s try not to write the man off before we’ve even seen the film. That is, of course, assuming that you have the guts to actually watch this movie.

Anastasia and Christian then engage in an almost monotonous conversation about Christian’s interests (Don’t go there, Ana!), and the awkward delivery of the lines makes it feel as if the actors themselves found the script incredibly uncomfortable to act out. And this is just the talking. We can only imagine how much weirder it’s going to get when the action happens.

The second half of the trailer is basically a montage of make out sessions, luxurious lifestyles, possessive behaviour, and an intense voice-over by Christian Grey.

But the last five seconds contain the parts you really want to see (admit it). Cue quick one second glimpses of the activity that happens in the Red Room of Pain. Think handcuffs, ropes, blind folds and, really, stuff you would torture people for information with.

As expected, a moan from Anastasia Steele concludes the trailer.

Possibly owing to the explicitness of the entire book series (which has gained such notoriety that celebrities took on the “challenge” of reading the books aloud), the trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey seems more likely to bring out giggles and eye rolling than any form of sexual excitement.

But if this trailer does peak your interest, if you catch our drift, then this movie is for you.

Fifty Shades of Grey will be in cinemas on Valentine’s Day, 2015. Yikes.